Due to a leaky wall (yes wall) in my house I no longer have a working Xbox, because water and electronics don't play nice with each other. It's my own fault really. I couldn't resist putting my Xbox next to a wall, I mean it was just so tempting. I wanted to live on the edge. But that's the price we pay for living a reckless life, you wind up dead or in jail...or in my case stuck with a wet video game console. Since I was always taught to make the best of a bad situation, I've come up with some inventive ways I can use my broken Xbox. 

This week I help a husband cone out of the closet, get a lost man on track, talk marriage with a young lady, tell the origin story of Snooki, and I try to figure out what a VCR is.

Plus I try to help you get the best NEW car deal.

So, you're saying Zebras
can't breath underwater?

Today, the power of the Photoshop is seen all through out the internets. An old guy and his "fat" cat, Coast Guard shark attack, even Oprah... girlfriend (I'm pretty sure that's how you address her, it's like the Oprah equivalent of Mr. President) All have been subjected to the power and might of Photoshop. However, back in the day, Photoshop wasn't around, so if you wanted to get cheeky, you had to do it on your own. The following are a slew of doctored photos from the olden days that I think would pique your interest.

Welcome to more of the odd and insane. When you love reading as much as I do, you come across many a book in your search to quench the thirst of the mind. So, this week we talk about a few of the most offbeat books that I've ever seen. Now, after reviewing my choices, I've come to realize that all, except for our first entry, are slightly NSFW, with some of the taboo topics they cover. However all images included in this article are safe for work. So, please, show your superiors as much as you'd like, I'm sure it'll help you get that raise.... pun not intended, but quite appropriate.

If you do alittle more digging, like clicking the links to the Amazon pages, then you  may find some more interesting pictures. But enough stalling, onward to some books that will certainly liven up your coffee table...

Mullets: Hairstyle of the Gods
by Mark Larson and Barney Hoskyns

Honestly, this book speaks naught but the truth. No other hairstyle has been rocked by the likes of the NASCAR fan, hockey players, Roman rebels, all the way up to David Bowie. It's motto of "Business in the front, party in the back" has been around for centuries and these 2 intrepid writers have set out to educate the world on all that is mullet. I hope they follow up this smash hit with "The Flock of Seagulls: I don't care if it was the 80's, What the hell were we thinking?"

Welcome to the first Bizarre of 2011! We at DYHP hope your New Year celebration was happy, healthy, and started off with a kiss, from a real live girl, because getting licked in the face by a puppy is definitely not the same thing, and kinda sad.

But that totally didn't happen to me... I swear. Ahem... anyway...

This week we look at how crazy the British Isles and Canadians have gotten with their armed robbery attempts. These ain't yo daddy's robbers, these are your great great great great grand daddy's felons. In one instance we have a man wielding a fake musket, a postal worker held at crossbow-point, and two Samurai trying to take money from a 68 year old man and his wife. So, click on through to read more, and check out videos after the jump.

Give us your gold coin, good shoppe keeppe,
for we will give it to the poor... and drug dealers

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss New Years Eve. It's the annual tradition of getting drunk, watching balls drop, incoherently counting down from ten, and making out with someone you'll regret once you see them in a photo you were both tagged in on Facebook. Sure, you'll play it off and blame your regrettable hook up on the alcohol. But deep down you know it was a make out session brought on by a strange fetish for noise makers, and the sensual voice of Ryan Seacrest shouting numbers at you.

But an inebriated photo of you kissing a Sasquatch isn't the only reason New Years Eve suck...

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss walking. It’s the simple process of placing one foot in front of another to propel our bodies forward. Yet for some reason this very simple act alludes the very old, very young and the morbidly obese. And this isn't really a bad thing for them. Walking accidents are responsible for more deaths then airplanes, cars and rhinoceros accidents combined (that stat may or may not be made up). You could even fall down the stairs and die, today. All because you were walking down the stairs, and a bear attacked you. Then in your hurry to flee from the bear you fell down the stairs and died. Now you’re just another statistic in the long line of deaths caused by walking.... and not bears... definitely not bears.
But falling to your inevitable demise due to bears walking isn't the only reason walking sucks...

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss birthdays. That annual countdown to your inevitable demise. Our birthdays are a special day that we celebrate with cake and balloons to make us feel better about the increasing grey hairs on our head and our diminishing memory. Sure your young now but before you know it you'll be blowing out the candles on your prune cake and forgetting where you live.

But losing your youthful good looks and dementia aren't the only reason birthdays suck...

Why is it that the people who love to walk around exposing themselves to everyone in public are always creepy old guys with wrinkley genitals? Why can't they look like Megan Fox once in a while? Though, if a someone who looked like Megan Fox was going around just exposing herself to people in public, I'm pretty sure the police would be pretty slow to respond.

Angry Lady: "Officer! That attractive young woman just exposed herself in front me and my husband... do something!"

Police: "Ma'am we'd love to arrest her but we're in the middle of somethin' here"

Angry Lady: "You're eating a doughnut!"

Police: "And when I'm done my Boston creme I'll think about it.."

While walking to work, I pass a funeral home. Today, an old woman dressed entirely in red, with a big puff of white hair, walked out of the door of said funeral home and down the street past me. All I could I think about was two young mortuary technicians staring at an empty metal table, hands covering their face, slowly pulling back through their hair in desperation, thinking "Aw, damn. We lost another one."