Today CNN published a story '9 Things you shouldn't say to your kids..'

So I thought it would be fun to see how many of these things I've said to my own kids and perhaps remember the context of the diatribes for your reading pleasure.

Let's just say things get interesting...

Most of us have known the trials and tribulations of a night out on the town (or at the corner bar). Driving (or staggering) home, smelling like vodka, cigarettes, and lime juice or urine. Telling your buddies you'll pick up the tab, then forgetting, blowing all your money in the process, which leads to a massive beat down by your pals and the bar owner.

Ain't alcohol grand? Well in the world of comedy it is!

I've compiled some awesome clips of DRUNKS BEHAVING BADLY so grab a cold one and enjoy! It's Snooki approved!

That's right. Officials in New York City (Where else?) have launched a phone application that will allow users to search for the nearest location where they can score free condoms.

Launched on Valentine's Day, the app can be found by searching for NYC Condom Finder in the iPhone store or Android Market. Not that I support the program or anything, personally I support the 'pullin' out' method. Don't mind that I have 2 kids and one on the way, I was just being lazy apparently.

Anyway, there are more strange apps to be found in the marketplace so let's explore the world of weird phone applications.

On this edition of NOT SO REAL LETTERS, we find out how many beers it takes to kill the average human being, how Madden destroys relationships, what exactly is cottage cheese, and how to your girl to dress up in a sexy Halloween costume.. PLUS a BRAND NEW FEATURE!

Smells good, let's eat...