Camping season is about to reach it's peak and that can only mean two things. There will be an increase in smore related forest fires and bear on human attacks will naturally be on the rise. Luckily for you I've come up with some helpful ways to deal with a bear attack, even if your only defense is to lie on the ground lifeless, while a hungry bear tears you limb from limb. 

A few days ago, I was listening to an ad on the radio for a group called Events and Adventures. They describe themselves as a singles group, NOT a dating service. They were very adamant about that, I guess all the creepers give dating groups a bad name. These folks put together events to get singles a mixin' and a matin'. Having been single before, I had an experience with this company, and it was not all fun and lollipops. These jerks turned me down! But, not for the reasons you'd think.

We're quickly coming to an era where every thing we humans used to do will be done for us  by computers or machines. Like Rosie in the Jetsons. I for one welcome these technological advances but it may frighten some to know that slowly, over time, the things that make us specifically human will be eroded and fade away. We will essentially become less hairy bears with clothes (well some of us will still wear clothes).

According to this goofy calendar we have in the kitchen, Sunday, February 27th was National Polar Bear Day. I thought that a day of this caliber needed a little reflection. Some time to really think about what polar bears have done in our lives, for all human kind. So, I present to you now... Great Moments in Polar Bear History...

Stardate 8008.5 ... I wish I had some space salmon...

So it’s 2011, lots of people have made new years resolutions. A lot of these resolutions are simple lifestyle changes. Some may be more intricate and dramatic.

Join the gym, lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, eat healthy, start a hobby, have a baby, get married, adopt a pet, go green, travel the world, run a marathon, eat a 2 foot burrito (OK, that last one is one of mine).

Some people aim low… like my annual resolution for the last 4 years has remained the same.

Keep breathing oxygen.

So far, so good.

But all this goal-setting and ideas of grandeur have me thinking of a more unique topic.

There are things that people talk about doing that I have never ever tried... but I assume that I can do them.

So I’d like to present you with a list… (and lists ROCK), of things I assume that I am fully capable of doing, yet have never tried, nor probably ever will.

May be a way to boost my resume!

This week I help a fan become a pet whisperer, play dentist for a day, get the brush out of your mom's hair, answer the age old question of bear vs Betty white, and I tell you who the best Metal band of all time is.

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss winter. It's that lovely time of year where temperatures drop, clothing layers increase, and everything around you dies. Even daylight gets crushed by the cruel icy hand of winter. And just when winter can't seem anymore hopeless, it snows, and anything fun you had planned is ruined. Unless of course you consider building a pedophile, singing snowman "fun", or getting frost bite from building a snowman "fun", or being rushed to the ER for frost bite “fun”, or leaving your kids, for the ER, under the supervision of a pedophile snowman "fun".

But a pedophile, singing snowman isn't the only reason the winter sucks…