I'm going to be perfectly honest with you guys; I had no idea what I was going to write about this week until a few hours ago. I sat in work trying to think of different ideas, but all I could think was about how much retail sucks and then it hit me... I'll talk about the reasons why retail sucks. Since the majority of us aren't doctors and lawyers, or haven't found ways to successfully fulfill our childhood dreams of being pirates and ninjas, chances are most of you will understand how much working retail sucks. I know for a fact that there are a myriad of examples I could choose from to highlight why retail is horrible, but for time sake I’m narrowing it down to the two worst. Enjoy the rant.

This guys livin' the dream

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss glasses. They're the optical atrocities that grant you a sure fire ticket to Geeksville. Simply wearing a pair of glasses can turn you into a freakishly awkward nerd who loves algebra, and hates boobies. Just ask Hollywood.
But Hollywood stereotypes aren't the only reason glasses suck.

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we talk about astrology. This spacey mumbo jumbo has been around for centuries and no matter how many times the Sports writer at the paper make up the horoscopes the night before a deadline, people keep eating it up! Even this past week, some star nerd made up a new House, or sign, or whatever the hell they call it, and shifted the signs around to make room. Now people are taking up arms, because the Daily News says they're no longer quiet and reserved, but outgoing and full of leadership and pizzaz.

All these lines mean I'm a theatrical show off... really? Have they heard my acting?

But lying to you about your social and acting skills isn't the only reason Astrology sucks...

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss homeownership. Owning a home has always been a right of passage for any prospective adult. But sometimes this purchase can feel more like a hindrance then an accomplishment. Sure things start off on the right foot but sooner or later you'll find yourself praying for a tornado to come around a blow your bad decision away to Oz.

I get three Wizard Of Oz references a year without anyone questioning my manhood

But being trapped in a land full of midgets and witches isn't the only reason homeownership sucks...

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss TV dinners. They're the bland microwavable let downs in a box. Every TV dinner is a single serving. That means when you're eating a TV dinner, you're usually alone and sad. Everyone who ever committed suicide probably ate a TV dinner alone before deciding to end it all with a gun.

But a rise in suicides due to 'Lean Cuisines' aren't the only reason TV dinners suck.

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss New Years Eve. It's the annual tradition of getting drunk, watching balls drop, incoherently counting down from ten, and making out with someone you'll regret once you see them in a photo you were both tagged in on Facebook. Sure, you'll play it off and blame your regrettable hook up on the alcohol. But deep down you know it was a make out session brought on by a strange fetish for noise makers, and the sensual voice of Ryan Seacrest shouting numbers at you.

But an inebriated photo of you kissing a Sasquatch isn't the only reason New Years Eve suck...

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss Christmas movies. They're the cheer filled holiday spectacles that are supposed to teach us all a lesson about giving or Santa. But the only lessons that we end up learning are to stay away from Whoville and that "reindeer games" means teasing someone who looks different then you. You also learn that it's OK to keep slaves as long as you call them elves.

But tiny human trafficking isn't the reason Christmas movies suck..

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss winter. It's that lovely time of year where temperatures drop, clothing layers increase, and everything around you dies. Even daylight gets crushed by the cruel icy hand of winter. And just when winter can't seem anymore hopeless, it snows, and anything fun you had planned is ruined. Unless of course you consider building a pedophile, singing snowman "fun", or getting frost bite from building a snowman "fun", or being rushed to the ER for frost bite “fun”, or leaving your kids, for the ER, under the supervision of a pedophile snowman "fun".

But a pedophile, singing snowman isn't the only reason the winter sucks…

 Due to events that transpired last Friday I requested to write the Things That Suck blog this week.

Every Thursday DYHP talks about something that's overated, useless, or just plain sucks. This week I discuss red lights. No, I'm not talking about the traffic kind, (even though one of those did cost me three hundred dollars, maybe that's another blog) I'm talking about the red light that rears it's ugly head in the front of your Xbox. Yes, that red light, or specifically the "Red Ring of Death". Now imagine, if you will, you pass the Traget on your way to work and you realize, "Hey, I have enough time to run in there and get Rock Band 3". So now you've made your purchase and you've been waiting all day to get home and play it, but then things take an ugly turn. Your new game gets all the way to the "Start" screen and then just freezes. That horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach saved for fear and the death of a loved one begins to show. You try again and again to restart the Xbox with no avail until finally, with sweaty palms, you unplug and plug the power cord. Before pressing the button you think, "It's not a Red Ring. This thing happens to other people not me, not me." However, God does not smile upon you this day as you soon realize your fate is sealed, and it comes in the form of a Red Ring. This happened to me last Friday as it has happened to countless people in the past. Two hours later, after I finished crying, I realized I needed to talk about this and I figured what better therapy than a blog.

Hello Fred, I've come to ruin your holiday and rape your soul.

But having all your hopes and dreams of gaming bliss ruined in an instant isn't the only reason "Red Rings of Death" suck...

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss online video gaming. It’s the virtual worlds where anonymity allows you to say the most vial things about another man’s mother. Most video games bring their players a feeling of accomplishment and a sense of excitement, but once these games go online, they become tainted. The game goes into the darkest depths of humanity and sometimes it drags the player along with it.

PIctured above are four tools

But forcing you to lose all hope in humanity aren’t the only reason online video games suck…