An elegant weapon,
for a more civilized time.
These next few sentences are not a stretching of the truth for comedic purposes. They are true thoughts that run through my head everytime these moments occur. I'm a giant ass nerd. Don't you judge me internets!
- Everytime I'm done watching any Indiana Jones movie I wanna drive jeeps recklessly and grab things with a whip while wearing a sweet ass hat.
- Whenever I wear a long jacket that goes past my waist, sorta of resemebling a trench coat. I feel like The 10th Doctor.
- When I wear my black gloves, and take them off after coming in from the cold, I feel like a mafia hitman.
- When I carry an umbrella, sometimes I'll hitch it to my belt. It hangs at my side like a lightsaber. I feel like Jedi.
- Whenever I wear a sweatshirt with a large hood over my head, I feel like a Sith Lord.
- Everytime I see an automatic door, I wanna wave my hand like a Jedi. If I'm carrying an umbrella, I'm half tempted to do it.
Anyone else have any hidden geeky yearnings they surpress? Break your shackles and free your mind of the weight! Come clean!
Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss glasses. They're the optical atrocities that grant you a sure fire ticket to Geeksville. Simply wearing a pair of glasses can turn you into a freakishly awkward nerd who loves algebra, and hates boobies. Just ask Hollywood.
But Hollywood stereotypes aren't the only reason glasses suck.
Welcome back to the working week, dear readers. This week, we delve into the world of comics, and I highlight some of the oddest superheroes ever created, all because of The Cape. After watching the pilot for the new NBC show Sunday night, I was inpisred to do a little reading into the character and such. As is always the case with those types of nights, I let the Internet and Wikipedia grab hold of me. Two hours later, I'm staring at these three extremely odd heroes, that are pretty damn useless, if you ask me. So, let's take a look at what comic book writers whip at 2am the night before a deadline.
If your superpower is also wielded by
6 year olds on Independence Day,
you are NOT a superhero!
Time for more odd things to be placed in front of your optical nerves!! First, though, I have something to say... I'm not gonna lie to you Marge. I'm kind of dialing this one in today. It's been a whirlwind week with the Christmas holidays, and now we're being hit with a crap ton of snow here on the East Coast. So, I thought, what better way to celebrate a snow day, then with 10 of the most bizarre snow sculptures I've ever seen! Sadly, I'll have no snow day, as I can, and will, work from home... though, I get to do it with no pants on, which is a definate win.
Anyway, to business!
We're not getting out anytime soon, so prepare for some blogs written
while dellrious from cabin fever and lack of oxygen... there's only so much oxygen
in a house, you know, and we don't have plants.... OH GOD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
It's time for a Saturday Morning Adventure! A new weekly column every Saturday set to the tune of old school computer games. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I had fun writing it.
Welcome to Saturday Morning Adventure! Type ENTER to start the game.
Class: Lvl 1 Nerd
Health Points: 10
XP to next Lvl: 25
You are on the side of a road, having just exited a BUS. It's morning. You feel sleepy.
Across the street to the NORTH you see a COFFEE SHOP. To the WEST you see an ALLEY WAY. To the EAST the road continues on. To the SOUTH you see a BUM sleeping.
What would you like to do?
You head SOUTH towards the BUM.
I think I'm kind of a nerd.
While walking home from work today I was extremely angry at how cold it was. Already having a knitted hat for my head, and hood to protect the back of my neck, I was trying to figure out the best way to keep my face warm, as it was directly in the face of the biting wind. My first thought was, "I wish I had jacket like Spock in Star Trek. One where the hood could easily zip down to look nice while not in use, yet zip up and still be very warm." But since that movie is set in space, I know technology like that is far beyond anything we have here on Earth currently. Crestfallen, I think of another option.
Spacey, warm and stylish
Do you have a toddler or friend who is a little person, who wants to surf the waves of the time-space continuum?? Well now they can, with a TARDIS made entirely out of Legos.
I heart nerds.
Today we salute America's favorite hot beverage and the wonderful drug it contains. No, not hot cocoa and meth... I'm talking about coffee and it's magical friend, caffeine. Without coffee, Thomas Edison would have never stayed up past nine and realized there was even a need for the light bulb. Without coffee, a young Steve Jobs would've never stayed up late talking about D&D while working with his geeky friends on this new computer thing. Without coffee, NASA scientists would never have stayed up late enough to think shooting monkeys and people into space was a good idea, and America wouldn't have landed on the Moon.
Welcome again to another week of the bizarre and odd tales that fill the world. With Tone still recovering from all of the "beachy goodness" of his vacation, I've taken the job of filling your brain meats with the wierd and obscure, so saddle up and let's get to newsifying!
Well, it's finally happened. The future is here! Remember when Star Trek came out, and everyone was excited to see force sheilds and "setting your phasers to stun" in our future? Well, sciency scientists have finally created that product everyone has dreamed of for years... a death ray,lightsabers, real life personalized pop-up ads.
I know what you're thinking, "This is great! I've always wanted advertising that can read my mind!" But don't pop that champagne cork just yet! These billboards from Japan only take a quick glance and determine your approximate age and sex to help you choose that great new item.
Would it really kill someone to keep and eye on these scientists and maybe crack the whip on some more awesome science, like teleportation, Arnold Schwarzenegger's Governator robots, or the Infinite Improbability Drive? I'd have a much easier time defending myself against the coming robot revolt with a lightsaber, rather than some flashy billboard that tries to sell designer Chanel nuts and bolts to crazy machine hell bent on destroying Earth.