We're All Gonna Die: Reasons Not To Leave Your House
I'm mortal (for now) and that means that one day I will meet my tragic and untimely end. We all will. Everyday we face grave threats to our very existence just by stepping out our front door, some threats more dangerous then the next. With certain death lurking around every corner you start to wonder why we even bother to leave our house in the morning.
Things That Suck: Clowns
Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss those face painted freaks known as clowns. These supposed creatures of joy have been stalking children in their dreams for centuries. I bet Freddy Kruger had nightmares about clowns, you know before he got all burned up, and had an affinity for striped sweaters.
But nightmarish visions aren't the only reason clowns suck..
Things That Suck: The NEW Vampire
Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss the NEW Vampire, and how thanks to series like Twilight and True Blood, a once feared creature of the night is now a preteen fashion accessory. Centuries ago young women would rush home constantly looking over their shoulder for fear of a stalking vampire. Today, they hope to meet a nice vamp, have a bunch of undead babies, and buy a nice haunted castle in the burbs. Vampires are neutered thanks to Hollywood.
And that's not the only reason they suck now... (pun fully intended)
The Horrors of Public Transportation
Public transportation is a wonderful thing.
The schedule says the bus could arrive between 2:15pm and Friday, so, I wait...
and wait...
and wait...
Happy Thursday the 13th!
While Thursday the 13th isn't as unlucky as it's bigger and scarier brother Friday, it's still quite the unlucky day. Some of the unluckiest events in American history happened on a Thursday the 13th, and I bet you never even knew about them. If your calendar reads Wednesday the 12th, your hand should tremble as you pull off the date, because the next day will be horrifying. These are a few things that have happened on Thursday the 13th.
Be afraid.
