A Permanent Case For My Nextflix DVD
This one is just practical because the DVD is already in the Xbox. And since the console isn't opening up anytime soon, I now have a convenient DVD case the weighs about 20 lbs and only holds one disc. It also means the Xbox and I are the proud renters of "Weekend At Burny's 2" for the rest of eternity.
The Most Awesome Spice Rack Ever
I could simply drill some brackets into a non-leaking wall, secure the water-logged Xbox in with duct tape, and bingo! I'll have a spice rack that would make Martha Stewart wet her pants with envy, or incontinence (she's pretty old so it's hard to tell).
A Better Way To Teach Your Enemies A Lesson
Typically after I write angry letters to my enemies, I tie them to rocks or bricks before I distribute them through their windows, like Santa hands out presents on Christmas. However, I'm hoping that attaching a threatening letter to my broken Xbox, and throwing it through my Grandmom's window, will finally get the point across to her just how much I hate peas with my dinner. Every Sunday I say to the women, "No peas please!" and yet there they are, green and disgusting, mocking me on my plate. But she won't be laughing much longer. Not after my 100 lb Xbox decimates her window. Taped to the Xbox will be a note detailing some of my demands like; no more peas at dinner and more candy options in her candy dish. If Grandma fails to comply I'll be forced to take further, more aggressive actions.
An Inconspicuous Place To Hide Your House Key
A lot of people hide their front door key under fake rocks. This way they aren't locked out if they lose their key. But so many people use this "clever" disguise that it's become cliche. Crooks and criminals know exactly where to look if they want easy access to your home. even I know that your house key is probably under the fake looking rock, that's sitting right next to your door. That's why I'm going a different route. My key will be hidden under an unassuming Xbox sitting on my front porch. No criminal will think to check under the Xbox for the key because they'll be too busy searching all the fake rocks I've strategically placed around my home.
On a side note: If you are a criminal and you're thinking about breaking into my house, I promise that I didn't hide my key under that Xbox next to my door. If anything Mr. Criminal you'll probably want to tirelessly search under every rock or stone around my house.
Heat In The Winter
I have oil heat in my house, which is expensive, so if all my other uses for my Xbox fail I'll just burn it for warmth. With all the chemicals inside the console, I'm sure the Xbox will be able to provide enough heat to keep me warm all winter long.
