War is an ugly part of human nature, and shows no sign of leaving anytime soon. So, our brightest minds and thinkers must constantly create and design the next big weapon to take our enemies out, and ensure victory. There have been many attempts to lessen the bloodshed with non-lethal weapons. Yet, non have proven as successful as hoped. Tasers, beanbags, and all the rest have been torn apart and still dubbed too aggressive. Until the world finds the magic bullet that incapacitates, instead of kills, mankind will keep looking. With that said, I have an idea.
As my contribution to defend the good old US of A, I hereby submit this video as proof of concept for my weapon.
That's right, a bona fide kitten cannon. Like bags of plague rats thrown in to cities to weaken the populace, I've found a more humane answer. Their is naught a human alive who can resist the cute and adorable nature of a kitten. We fling a couple hundred of these furry little guys into the enemy ranks and they'll be too incapacitated by cuteness to fight. Either that or they'll start fighting each other to solve who gets to take Mr. Whiskers home. Either way, we win. So, breathe easy America, we've got the next couple of wars on lock, thanks to my invention. Now, who gets my address to deliver my Nobel Peace Prize for War... that's a category, isn't it?







