On Saturday my wife went into labor so we hurried the kids into the car and raced to the hospital. We pulled up, grabbed our ticket from the parking garage meter, and parked as close to the hospital as possible.

After a couple hours of labor, a new baby, some food and family, it came time to go home and start final preparations for the new child.

This is where I found out that in order to get out of the parking garage I might as well have backed it up because I felt like I was anally raped without little or no lubricant.

The damage; $7. Seven dollars. Ok, if that's not alot to pay for a day, I get it. But I knew I would have to return that evening, starting the clock on my way to another seven dollars worth of rectal penetration.

And so I did return, and of course the next day was our daughter's first dance recital. So here we go again... $7 more out the door. $14 just to park my car remotely close to the hospital that is taking an enormous amount of insurance money to birth my child. I needed a way around this.

Validation. That's it. I figured I'd ask the kindly nurses at the desk to validate my parking so I can get out of jail free this time. Unfortunately for me, the kindly nurses apparently pay the piper as well.

How is this possible? More unfair than my troubles, these employees are also forced to pay these scumbag parking fees. So the recital is over and I must return for my final night in purgatory. We wake up, get discharged, and leave, paying our $7 in the process. $21 in 3 short days to park in a place that if I would have felt like walking a half block I could've parked for free.

Somethings not right here. Well, at least they had complimentary copies of the Star Tribune available. But this is Philly... who the hell reads the Star Tribune? I just took the coupons...

Oh yea, and I totally and completely disobeyed this sign: