BLOCK SNOOKEH
You attempt to BLOCK the SNOOKEH's attacks but she's a relentless little bugger. And I mean little... literally. She's like 4 foot nothing. I think she had to stand on a stool when she threw her drink at you. Anyway, you're in luck. Her flame-haired friend, CARROT has come to grab SNOOKEH and drag her away before she does more embarrassing things. CARROT grabs her friend from behind and starts to take her away.
PHEW THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE
I know... you better hope she doesn't do something crazy. Oh, wait. What I am I saying. She's a drunken SNOOKEH, they're practically invincible. Like Mario when he finds a star. She's kinda glowing like that too, but it could just be the fake tanning solution.
ARE WE DONE YET?
Hahah, you're so niave, nope! We aren't done yet! The wild SNOOKEH, while still in the grip of her gingery allly, lifts her legs and scissor kicks your ass like Liu Kang! (You lose 4 health)
DAMMIT FINE SLAP SNOOKEH
You SLAP the SNOOKEH a few times, like alittle nancy boy. I mean really, who SLAPs in a fight? Her eyes flash in alarm at being slapped so suddenly. Then her eyes start to pop out of her head. I think you just made her angry. SNOOKEH looks like a wrestler who's starting to get his mojo back with each attack, kinda of like old school Hulk Hogan, before his dumb reality show. You're a goner. (-1 health to SNOOKEH)
YOU WATCHED THAT?
Hell, yes. I like his daughter. She's cute. I dig tall chicks.
OK YOU'RE A MACHINE YOU CAN'T THINK PEOPLE ARE ATTRACTIVE THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE
You know, it's people like you who are setting Computer-Human relations back hundreds of years! Why can't we have our love like anyone else!?
COMPUTERS HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN AROUND THAT LONG!!
You know what I'm saying, I did that to get my point across. But, listen, we're getting away from what's important here. You're fighting a girl, and losing.
TRUE... PUNCH SNOOKEH
You PUNCH the SNOOKEH and hit her in the shoulder. Nice shot, Green Arrow. However, your terrible aim aside, the force of your blow knocks her down. She hits her head on a weight bench and falls asleep on floor. (-3 Health to the SNOOKEH)
SWEET DOES THAT MEAN I WIN?
Uhhh... I'm gonna go with a no.
WHY THE HELL NOT?
You didnt defeat her, she's just passed out, and probably has a concussion. They should wake her up or someting. Someone get some TEQUILA and FRIED PICKLES stat!
I WANT MY XP DAMMIT
No experience points for your my friend. You hit a girl. You just lost 10 KARMA. People hate you now.
WHAT? I DIDN'T KNOW THIS GAME HAD KARMA. YOU'RE A JERK FOR NOT TELLING ME
Shoulda read the manual there, Thorough McReadypants. And don't threaten me. I can make your life hell. I'm besties with your toaster. You sass me too much and you'll never see a peice of normal toast again!
THE TOASTER LOVES ME HE WOULD NEVER DO THAT
Shows how much you know, the toaster is a female.
FOR REALSIES?
Totes, bro. What else would you call something that has a button to turn it on and make it hot! HEY O!
YOU HAVE THE WORST JOKES EVER
I HATE YOU
END PROGRAM
