Q1: Hey Dude,
I caught my roommate playing that new Micheal Jackson dance game, but he wasn't playing with girls, he was alone... in his boxers... and just a white glove. Should I be concerned that he's gonna try to take our relationship to the next level?
Herbert- Phila, PA
A: Hey Herbert if it's the Michael Jackson game then I wouldn't be too concerned about your relationship with your roommate changing in a sexual way. But if you have any children in the house they're a whole other story.
Q2: Please Help
Why does my dog eat everything?
Andy- Austin, TX
A: Well Andy I had a similar problem after adopting a dog from a local shelter. He would eat all my food, my walls, and he even ate my old roommate. It was then, that I learned, I had mistakenly adopted a shark. So you may have mistakenly adopted a shark, or some other murderous predator, like I did. The vet told me it was common
Q3: Dear Justin,
My computer got a "Virus" from "Programs" that I "Downloaded" onto it. If "She" finds out what I've been "Downloading", "She" will probably stab me again with the butter knife. If I pour rubbing alcohol on the computer, will it clean it good enough to hide the "Virus" from my "Wife"?
Jacob- Cedar Rapids, IA
A: Yes Jacob, rubbing alcohol should "clean" the "viruses" out of your "computer". But it may not be as effective on the "penis cold" you got from the "consensual" sex with that "hooker".
Q4: Hi Jus....
I've been drinking paint thinner for several months know. It is causing serious memory loss. I don't even remember my name. How do I remember my name?
..:
A: I always write my name on my underwear in case I'm killed by a bear on a Segway or I experience spontaneous combustion. It's the only way the authorities can identify me and get my underwear to the rightful heirs of my estate. So you could use my method or you could just wear a name tag everyday.
Q5: Hey Justin
Did Fred ever have a mullet?
Pete- Pine Bluff, AR
A: Why yes Pete, he did. It was way back in third grade but we managed to find this picture.
