I Want My Foreskin for Giftmas by Carl J. Schutt
Apparently, there's a big discussion about whether or not nipping the tip of a young man's naughty bits is really necessary, and if there are health risks and what have you. This book tries to persuade you to join the "Don't nip the tip" club, with what appears to be a children's books approach. Personally, I don't give a damn. I've seen a few... let's call them... sexy "Health" videos in my day, involving naked women, which happen to also feature dudes, and I have to say man junk looks gross all year round. There's no such thing as an attractive penis, so stop complaining.
This book is actually pretty heavy, from what I can gleam from the excerpts off Amazon. It explores the concept of male pregnancy from a religious and philosophical point of view. Which sounds like a total bore fest to me. I want some cutting edge, mad scientist journals, with Ahhnold Schwarzenegger reprising his role from the classic Junior, acting out the dramatizations... and Danny Devito plays the baby.
The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas
by Morgan Hastings
This book's title is what grabbed my attention. But it's the actual images inside that disturbed me. You can see those by clicking the 'Look Inside' link, from the Amazon page. This is literally, a big coloring book of vagoos. Not pretty representations or innuendo, like a flower that blossoms in a certain way, or some other trick of the eye, such as the lamp optical trick. These are real-life lady parts, in plain view. Some artist, calligraphy-ogripher, or magician, sat down and drew a bunch of vaginae in the style of a children's coloring books, for you to color inside the lines, any odd color you please. I enjoy lady bits as much as the next guy, but I certainly don't want to color them green... unless I have an unhealthy She-Hulk fetish. Which I don't! In an unrelated note, please refrain from checking under my bed, there's nothing to see there... nothing to see...
TeeHee, the paper looks like boobies... ahem... OK, so, this book looks fun at first glance. Origami is a very cool art, and some neat things can be made, but let's face it. It's kinda dorky, even if you're making sexy sexy figures. Much like the magician, it's impressive at first, but eventually you get so into your craft you start freaking people out. You'll start leaving little origami vagoos at every fast food joint and try to convince your girlfriend to let you cuff her with your newly minted sexy paper cuffs. Though, a origami sex swing would be quite impressive structurally, I shudder to think of the paper cuts that would ensue. Danger lurks in the world of sexy origami, consider yourself warned, reader.
Sadly, this book does not have a preview. So I'm going to have to guess what the steps are...
Lesson 1 Under no circumstances may you date anyone named Lila, Laura, Lilly or Riley.
Lesson 2: Don't show her all of your weird manga porn on the first date. White girls are fragile, they aren't down with sexy like you are. Show her some Dragonball-Z and ease her into the crazy tentacle stuff gradually. If she stays, you know she's a keeper.
Lesson 3: The average height of a white girl is 5'4, so she's probably taller than you, just deal with it. Don't wear push up sneakers to compensate, they make you look special.
So, as you can see, this book is a wealth of knowledge. I suspect even the non-Asian male can get some nuggets of truth and wisdom from this diamond in the rough. So, don't limit yourself whitey, get your learn on.
So, there you have it. Some odd books that are certain to keep the conversations going at your grandmom's next bridge night with the old birds from down the street. Just tell her to skip the chapter on origami sex toys, unless you want to get an interesting call from the Emergency room at 5am.
I'm also thinking I should do a follow up to this article, as in my book laden travels, I've seen a few odd children's books as well. There is certainly not a lack of odd in the book world, and being an avid reader I'll certain take up the challenge of presenting you with the most bizarre. Until we meet again dear reader, same Bizarre time, Bizarre channel.