YAY!, You've entered the KITCHEN. You see a BULLETIN BOARD with notices for carpools, the lost and found, and one flyer that looks suspiciously like a CALL GIRL's phone number. There is also a small FRIDGE, and a TABLE with many COOKIES.
TAKE NUMBER
You dirty little minx you! You take the TRANNY'S phone number.
WHAT!? YOU NEVER SAID IT WAS A TRANNY! DROP NUMBER!
You cannot drop this item, it is bind on pick-up.
DAMMIT
At least you'll have something to do FRIDAY instead of cry into a tub of ICE CREAM and watch OPRAH in your UNDIES
I DON'T WATCH OPRAH IN MY UNDIES!
OK, fine. You were wearing pants, I'll admit that.
THANK YOU
You're welcome.
EXAMINE ROOM
The CUTE GIRL from the sales department is here, as well as her annoying boss CHIP. He smiles too much and has way too much energy at 7 am. He calls you names like SPORT, CHIEF and MIKE, even though your name is RAYMOND. He's annoying. CHIP is eyeing the COOKIES on table There are only 1 x COOKIES left. Better make a move quick!
LOOT TABLE
You step up to the tray and grab 1 x COOKIES.
CHIP doesn't like your take charge attitude when it comes to COOKIE grabbing. He takes it as a threat to his job and wants to impress CUTE GIRL, so he SLAPS the COOKIE out of your hand and takes it for himself (-1 COOKIE)
WOULDNT SHE THINK THATS KINDA DOUCHEY AND CHILDISH, AND NOT LIKE HIM FOR IT?
No way, chicks dig bad asses. Don't be a baby, sack up!
DAMMIT FINE SLAP CHIP
You SLAP CHIP across the face like a nancy-boy. He thinks you're having a seizure for a second, but realizes you just slapped him like a SISSY, and fight like a GIRL. CHIP responds with THROW PENCIL! (-1 HEALTH to CHIP)
DODGE PENCIL
You avoid the PENCIL, but hit your head on the table in the small KITCHEN. (You lose 1 HEALTH)
VIEW INVENTORY
You have in your possession a STAPLE GUN, a POCKET PROTECTOR full of PENS, and $4.
EQUIP STAPLE GUN
FIRE STAPLE GUN AT CHIP
You FIRE the STAPLE GUN at CHIP. The sharp pointies of the STAPLES hit CHIP in the eye. It hurts like hell. He's been temporarily BLINDED! (-3 HEALTH to CHIP)
CHIP throws a PUNCH and misses you, but hits CUTE GIRL. She's knocked down.
KICK CHIP
You KICK CHIP in an unsportsman like area. He winces and drops to the floor. (-5 HEALTH to CHIP)
You have defeated the CHIP! (+ 5 to XP!)
EXAMINE CUTE GIRL
She's a good looking broad. Cute tush. Very pretty face.
WHAT?! WHAT KIND OF COMPUTER USES THE TERMS BROAD AND TUSH?
This one does, what are you, the grammar police?
I MEANT IS SHE OK FROM THE FIGHT, JERK
Oh, yea. She's cool. She's starting to awaken, but she's very CONFUSED. You should ask for her number before she comes to her senses and can see what you really look like.
SHUT UP, CALL SECURITY
Security arrives and starts to clean up the carnage. In the midst of the all the hub bub, CUTE GIRL didn't see who hit her. She thinks you did it, and tells SECURITY that you're a menace to the work place, and also that you touched her boob without asking.
You are ARRESTED!
SO, WAIT. IF I HAD ASKED HER, WOULD SHE HAVE LET ME TOUCH HER BOOB?
Hell, no. It's just the principle of the thing you dirty BASTARD. Just call the TRANNY and be happy you have something to do. And when I say something I really mean some thing! HA!
..........
Did you get i!?!?... It's because it boy and girl parts!
THATS A HERMAPHRODITE
Whatever, you're the one who's gonna be sleeping with it.
THE HELL I AM!
EXIT PROGRAM
