I've eaten my fair share of TV dinners throughout the years. The situation is usually brought on by my extreme laziness and it always ends with a feeling of regret, as I'm rolling around on the floor holding my stomach and asking God "Why me?". Sure, these microwavable abominations were meant to save time and money, but while your eating half a frozen salisbury steak, you realize that we've cloned sheep, and yet we still haven't mastered the microwavable dinner.

"I think that Salisbury steak we ate was made out of my last clone"

There are many varieties of TV dinner, each one tasting more like warm rubber then the next. You have the 'Hot Pocket' which is basically hate wrapped in a flaky crust, leaving a trail of misery and pain in their path. The Hot Pocket is the ninja assassin of the TV dinner world. They sneak into your stomach and tear you apart from the inside. Sure, they may change the recipe, maybe they even change the packaging, but inside they're filled with disdain for your digestive system.

Ingredients: ham, cheese by-product, and death

You may be thinking to yourself "Justin, not all TV dinners are bad. What about the ones with the little dessert?" You bring up a good point... sadly, you're wrong. All TV dinners are made with the intention of evil. Even that little dessert, that promises to be a delightful end to an otherwise terrible meal, is a liar. These desserts aren't baked by the loving hand of your mother. That tiny wedge of brownie was made by the Devil himself, in the ovens of hell. The flames, of which, are fueled by the bodies of past TV dinner eaters who decided to take their own sad lives.

"This fire needs more misery"

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go eat lunch. My TV dinner is done.