Once at the mall, I start browsing around, looking for that special gift that may pique the interest of a family member. Mostly, I just read store names and try to guess if they'll have something for my parents or siblings before I enter. I sure as hell wasn't looking through every store, I'm not a lady, ya know. However, there was one store that caught my eye, and I new instantly... that it didn't have a damn thing I needed. I also wondered how the hell it stays in business.

The first rule of Calendar Club is we only make a profit in December because selling calendars year round is stupid.
Do the people who own Honey Baked Ham own this store, too?

As I walk, another store catches my eye, not because I need anything from there, but because the displays were so distracting. No, it wasn't Victoria's Secret this time. It was some Charlotte-Russe-type girly store, and it was quite a saucy plastic filled scene. Apparently, sweaters aren't just for covering your torso, they can also double as dresses.

I'm certain these mannequins Dads did not approve of their Christmas attire.

Finally, after hours of searching. I find it. The one gift my dad wanted above all others. He's been pining for it for years, and it's finally become a reality.

Oddly enough, Flyers toast was first on my Dad's Christmas list.
Followed by Phillies' brussel sprouts and Eagles Asparagus.

BONUS!: Need a list minute gift for that special elf in your life? How bout a wedding dress?

Elves can be married too you know, it's about love, man!
Support Proposition 12 in favor of Elven to Elven marriage!