Fred

Things That Rock: Billionaires

21.12.10

Welcome to Things That Rock where I discuss things that I think just plain rock, this week I’m talking about billionaires. Now I think that everyone is showing a lot of undeserved hatred toward billionaires lately. They say that their too rich, they don’t care about the little guy, or that their evil. Hell, even I joined in on the billionaire bashing a few weeks ago (in my defense red rings are an evil plot to steal us). But while there are the conniving billionaires out there like Bill Gates who want to steal our well earned dollars from us , he is not the norm. If everything I’ve learned from reading is true than most billionaires want to fix the community, stop drug trafficking, or protect us from terrorists using state of the art mechanical suit…

For some people this is like a radioactive animal bite

But protecting while sporting flashy suits isn’t the only reason billionaires rock…

Billionaires are also integral in the hero community, especially when it comes to the super teams. Without Bruce Wayne’s financial support the Justice League wouldn’t have a place to go during down time, likewise, Avenger’s Tower is paid for through Tony Stark’s company. What I’m saying is Superman can have all the laser eyes and ice breath he wants but he ain’t funding a moon base on a journalist salary. Unlimited funds is what makes these billionaires the heroes they are. Look, Iron Man can watch a news report about a terrorist half way around the world attacking a village and be there in seconds flat. Spider-Man stays in Queens because his webbing is expensive to make and his dependence on public transportation.

Dammit, the Chameleon was two stops ago

Proper training is also extremely important in becoming a successful hero. Training takes undying determination and skill, an unlimited trust fund doesn’t hurt either. Batman’s story is not that different from what could happen to anyone. At the age of seven any city dweller could be leaving their luxury balcony seats at the opera early and have their parents brutally murdered in an allay way right in front of their eyes. But then what happens? They get shipped away to foster care and people feel sorry for them. Billionaire children, however, have the means (and the butlers) to help them in their crusade for justice. No one cares about poor Batman because he rolls up in the Bat-Hyundai and throw rocks at criminals but people respect rich Batman who has a Batmobile and throws batarangs.

Poor Batman wants to avenge his parents too

Being a billionaire has always been one of the ways to become a super hero. Every comic book hero is either born with powers, (mutants, superman) acquire their powers, (bites, experiments) or are rich people who have something stolen from them or taken away. So this actually is a lesson, never cross a rich person because they are known for life long super powered vendettas.

Never bring up Batman’s parents

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Fred

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