OK, so it’s almost Christmas. Time is fleeting! You have a few couples left on your list, and you have NO clue what to buy them.-
9. Matching Leopard Print Undergarments - Matching clothes are all the rage. Right? Or am I thinking of something else. But picture your friends wearing some awesome leopard printed silk garments. It may disturb you to picture…but trust me, they WANT to do it! - 8. Chinese Finger Cuffs - Yeah, it’s an old one but a good one. Not only can you ensure that your money is going to a good place, like a country desperately in need of money, but you can make sure your couple friends stay connected. At the finger.
- 7. .38 Magnum - you never know what the holidays will bring. I’m just saying…
- 6. “Love Cuffs” as seen on “Saved by the Bell” episode titled “The Friendship Business” - Sure, probably not the most accessible gift, but remember in the 90’s when two struggling empires, the “Friendship bracelet” and the “Buddy Bands” were all but bankrupt because Mr. Belding was wearing them? So they decided to join powers and make “Love Cuffs” using the supplies on hand? Why not dig up an old gift for your couple friends and keep them together with Love Cuffs?
5. Electric Shock Roulette - What better gift to give to your friends than guaranteeing electrocution during the holidays! And, BONUS, if your friends have two kids, you can also ensure THEY get some serious voltage for Christmas. It’s a gift that will linger for days…..- 4. Tug of War Rope - Rope can be used for many things. But why not suggest that your loved ones solve all of their arguments by having a tug-of-war? It’s fun, gives rope burns, and can decide a dispute in just minutes!
- 3. 3 Legged Assless Chaps - I’m still perfecting the model for this, but imagine how great you and your significant other will look at the next company picnic, dominating the 3-legged race!
2. Love Toilet - As seen on Saturday Night Live years ago, why not share your most intimate (and maybe disturbing) moments with your significant other? Also effective if there are trust issues, ensuring they don’t leave each others sight! - 1. Snuggie for Two - Yeah, it’s the trend right now. God only knows why. I suppose there were enough cold people in the world who don’t have time to get out from under their blanket in order to regain full usage of their HANDS. But…how romantic, to be able to climb into a double-sized Snuggie and share the holiday season together, able to eat bacon with your fingers!
BONUS GIFT! - For the couple visiting each other in prison
Cake with file in it - I think it’s pretty self-explanatory.
