STORY #1
MOM GETS BUSTED AFTER POSTING BABY WITH BONG PIC
Fla. mom arrested after pic of baby with bong
(AP) – 6 days ago
KEYSTONE HEIGHTS, Fla. — A central Florida mom who thought it would be funny to post a picture of her baby with a bong on her Facebook page has been arrested.
Nineteen-year-old Rachel Stieringer was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia. A Texas resident called Florida's abuse hot line after seeing the picture online of the baby posing with his face in the bong.
Clay County Sheriff's deputies say Stieringer turned herself in July 29 and was released on $502 bond.
A spokesman for the Department of Children and Families said Monday the baby had no injuries and drug tests came back negative.
A message could not be left at Stieringer's home Tuesday morning. The phone number was busy on several attempts.
Copyright © 2010 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.
Are you kidding me? We're supposed to believe this is all in good fun? Dude, if you're on the pipe, fine, but keep your baby away from the stuff! At least wait until he's 13 to ruin his brain cells.
STORY #2
SWISS VENDING MACHINES WILL START SELLING PREGNANCY TESTS
IT'S the last place you'd expect to see pregnancy tests, but new vending machines at Swiss railway stations are selling the item alongside sandwiches and crisps.
Makers Maybe Bayby say it means women don't have to risk being embarrassed when buying the tester from a chemist.
"We've had a few demands for refunds where people thought they were getting chocolate but they seem to be very popular," one rail worker told the Austrian Times.
The machines are on trial for a month.
credit: Express.co.uk
They need to stock one of these machines at the Welfare Office. Seriously, I saw a woman leaving one the other day and it looked like she grew 8 arms to carry all the damn babies she was toting Madusa style.
STORY #3
LONGBOARDING SUCKS... AND HERE'S WHY...
From FOXNEWS.com: A UTAH man had a 90 to 95 percent chance of dying after shattering his skull in more than 10 places until a neurosurgeon removed both sides of his head and froze it.
Kyle Johnson’s brain swelled uncontrollably after he fell off a longboard - essentially a surfboard on wheels - while travelling about 60km/h.
Dr Blake Welling of McKay-Dee Hospital in Utah decided to perform the risky surgery.
“We elected to take Kyle to surgery and remove each side of his head,” Dr Welling told FOXNews.com.
“It’s called a bilateral decompressive craniectomy. It’s something that neurosurgeons do as a last ditch effort.
“Most neurosurgeons do a decompressive craniectomy on one side of the head, where the trauma was.
“In this case, Kyle had such a global brain injury that we needed to take both sides of his head off, and you just leave a small strip of bone right down the middle.”
Dr Welling and his team removed Mr Johnson’s fractured skull, put it back together with micro-screws and plates, and then put it in a freezer to prevent the bone from becoming brittle.
Mr Johnson was placed in a drug-induced coma for about three weeks while doctors monitored his brain swelling. After the swelling went down, Dr Welling put the bone flaps back into place, and it took Mr Johnson about another week to wake up.
“I wasn’t quite sure what we were going to be left with,” Dr Welling said.
“When people have injuries like this I thought he may have a significant disability in terms of having to talk and walk again and learning his cognitive function. But low and behold, Kyle woke up and his lights gradually went back on.”
Dr Welling said by all purposes, Mr Johnson should have died.
“He had a very high mortality rate,” he said.
“I told him sometimes we’re left with really terrible results, but in your case you have a guardian angel, you have something to live for."
Although Mr Johnson did not require any real physical therapy, he is currently undergoing cognitive therapy to help with memory loss and things like multi-tasking.
“It’s something that I do not have the ability to do right now,” he said.
“If you put two color crayons in front of me, say blue and green, I really cannot think of both crayons. I can only think of one at a time and even that is a struggle. So, for therapy, we’ve been doing more mind exercises if you will.”
Now, almost 10 weeks after the accident, Mr Johnson is looking forward to the future, but he is not sure if he will ever get back on his longboard.
"It's kind of an eerie type of feeling - so I don't know if I will ever get back to longboarding - but snowboarding for sure," he said.
Well at least he's a shoe-in for a role on the next Star Trek movie.
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STORY #4
FEELS LIKE THE FIRST TIME, AGAIN...
By Keith B. Richburg in beijing
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
China has long been known as the land of fakes -- Rolexes, DVDs, handbags and designer clothes.
Add a new one to the list: fake virgins.
A growing number of Chinese women -- mostly in their 20s and about to get married -- are opting for a surgical procedure called "hymen restoration," which returns the hymen to its condition before it was ruptured, which typically occurs during first sexual contact but can also happen while playing sports or doing other strenuous activities.
"you mean I can be virgin all owa again too?"
Even as China has flung open its doors to the West and modernized, a deeply conservative and chauvinistic attitude persists. Many men, including white-collar professionals, say they want to marry a virgin. And increasingly liberated Chinese women have found a way to oblige them.
"We can fix it so everything is perfect, so the men can believe they are marrying virgins," said Zhou Hong, a physician and director of gynecology at the Beijing Wuzhou Women's Hospital. "We don't advertise it; we don't publicize it."
Zhou, 44, said most of her patients are sexually active young women who are about to marry and have told their future husbands they are virgins. She said a smaller number want to forget a bad relationship and "start over," and a few have been victims of rape.
Zhou is one of many Chinese doctors performing the procedure, which is also done in other countries. She said she restores as many as 20 hymens a month, and the number is increasing. For as little as 5,000 renminbi, or about $737, for a 20-to-30-minute procedure, Zhou is giving women a second chance at having a first time.
Does she worry that she is encouraging people to start their marriages with a lie? "It's just a white lie," Zhou said. And she blames men for having unrealistic expectations.
"I don't agree with this value" placed on virginity, Zhou said. "It's unfair to the women. The men are not virgins. But we can't change this male-privileged society."
The surgery, known as hymenoplasty, has been around for years, although it is considered rare and is illegal in some countries. It is performed primarily in Muslim countries, where the traditionalists place a high value on a woman's virginity. It also has become common in France among French Muslims, usually for young women about to enter a traditional marriage. There are no statistics available in China on how often the surgery is performed. But sociologists and other experts, as well as anecdotal evidence, suggest it has gained in popularity.
For women who do not want to have surgery, a cheaper, faster path to "revirgination" is available in most sex novelty shops: a Chinese-made artificial hymen that purports to create a physical sensation for the man and emit fake blood when ruptured.
I wonder if they sell that last item at Halloween Adventure? Just sayin'...
AND that's all for this week, I'll be back next week with more strange news and commentary. In the meantime, help a brotha out, send your strange news to tone@dontyouhatepants.net.
