1) Yo Tone
 
Where have you been? And what was up with that Justin guy filling in for you? He's a weirdo.
 
Your biggest fan- Coral Hills, WA

Well sir, I have been around the world, visiting places near and far, searching for a form of inspiration so surreal only Flava Flav knows the depths of its greatness. ORRRRR.... I was moving into a new house and going on an all expenses paid trip to Hawaii during the month of July in which my trusted colleague and overall good guy Justin "Don't call me Timberlake" Berardi took the reigns of "QUESTIONS" admirably.

2) Who would win in a cage match Nikola Tesla or Thomas Edison with Einstein as the ref?
 
Drake- Pocatello, Idaho

The guy who invented Peanut Butter would pwn them both. THE END.

3)Dear Tone
 
if I'm a guy why do I have nipples?
 
Gary- Hartford, CT

This is an easy one. Nipples on men is a constant reminder of our lifelong question for women. We strive to have a pair(or more) of nipples to go along with our own, you know, so they can have play dates and CYO functions and the like. They grow up so fast!

4) Hey there
 
I know a guy who's having problems getting "it" up. He doesn't trust Viagra so what homeopathic cures would you'd suggest to help my friend?
 
Jake- Terre Haute, IN

Well if your friend is in fact a "homeopathic" then I guess I would recommend locking him in a closet equipped with a small barely-color TV, a stack of PLAYGIRL, a VCR and a box of gay VHS tapes, and some ICY/HOT. Leave him in the closet for 3 days and see if that doesn't do anything for him.

5) I need help
 
I'm having a party and I have no I'dea how to make a single mixed drink. You can't throw a party without drinks! Tone what drinks would you recommend and do you have any recipies?
 
Gina- Tampa Bay, FL

What do I look like a bartender? Do I look like I know how to make a mixed drink? Well as a matter of fact I do! Here's something I picked up from our trip to MAUI!

THE PERFECT MAI TAI


Ingredients

    * 2 cups light rum
    * 1 cup dark rum
    * 1 cup 151 proof rum
    * 1 cup orange curacao (orange flavored liqueur)
    * 1 cup almond flavored syrup
    * 1 cup simple syrup
    * 10 limes, juiced
    * 1/2 gallon fresh orange juice

Directions

   1. In a large jar or drink cooler, combine the light rum, dark rum, 151 rum, orange liqueur, almond syrup, simple syrup, and lime juice. Stir and top off with orange juice. Do not use grenadine if you want the true Mai Tai! Serve in 8 to 12 ounce glasses with ice.

DONE.