If you're driving and you hear alot of beeps and yelling it means one of two things. You're either the hottest person in town or the worst driver since your legally blind grandma.

Babies are born with all the knowledge of the universe. When they say things like, "gubble wubba mmm draaahh!! Whaa gree ubble mmm!!" what they're really doing is telling us the true meaning of life, but sadly none of us speak baby.

The bikini is just a more colorfull bra and panties that women wear in front of a beach full of total strangers.

No one likes sand but everyone likes the beach. I say we just make the beach into cement instead of sand. It's like one giant ocean pool.

We could pave over the seagulls while we're at it.

I like the boardwalk but I hate walking. Sadly my wife thinks it's embarrassing to pull me around in a wagon like they do with kids. She hates fun.

It's fun to get on the tea cups or tilt-a-whirl with a group of complete strangers. After each spin fake like your going to be sick. It's a sure fire way to make new friends for life.

People look at you funny when you get on kids rides as an adult. Those same people start to talk about you when you scream to get off said kids ride and you make a big scene.