When the bus finally arrives my options are:

Sit next to a man who has more goods in his cart then he does teeth in his mouth.

The women behind, olding a rousing conversation. The problem is, there's no one sitting next to her that I can see, and judging by her lack of shoes, I doubt she's on her blue tooth. On second thought maybe that seat is taken by someone not visable to us humans.

There's always the woman up the aisle who looks like she owns 30 cats, and smells like it too.

Chances are, I'd be better off sitting next to the poor man's Charlie Manson to my right. Sure, he has "I want to murder you" written all over his emotionaless face, but best case scenerio; He smells less nauseating then the my first options and he has a sweet axe. Worst case; His sweet axe and I end up in his fridge next to the orange juice.

... It might be best if I just stand.