I was at the mall the other day and I went to get a bite in the food court. As I was lookin around, I noticed all the black people had KFC and all the white people had McDonalds. Now I felt pressured. Do I stick with the white people? What do I do? Why is this food court so damned racist?

In the end, I went to KFC, because I build bridges with my lunch choices. What did you do at the mall, buy a bunch of dumb shirts? Whatever, I just ended 400 years of tension and oppression with a 3 peice, biscuit, and some mashed potatos. Enjoy your cardigan, Hitler.

50% Cotton, 100% Hatred!

As has been talked about before, I dislike stores that base their products around one very odd item. Places like Honeybaked Ham and Blinds2Go infuriate me to the point that I want to punch babies and hobos, and when really mad, baby hobos.They make me very angry, and I need to defend my rage to make you all understand the ludicracy.

Today, I highlight the Top 5 stores that stores that shouldn't be.

5. Honeybaked Ham

I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge, I've never been to a Honeybaked Ham establishment. My reason being... I don't like ham enough to wanna eat it everyday. When I pass by a Honeybaked Ham restaurant, I don't think. Man, I haven't had ham in ages, sounds good ... it's more... Man, I haven't had ham in ages, thank God. See you at Easter, suck-ass ham!

Now, nay-sayers like Justin, bring up the fact that I'd love to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken everyday until I was 30 ( I don't see my self going past 3 years of an all fried chicken diet, but at least I'd die greasy and happy). To those against me I say, Dammit everyone loves fried chicken! No one comes home thinking, Oh boy, someone get me a nice big bucket of bacon's less delicious uncle. Ham is not worthy to be your flagship entree, ever!

That 30 piece of extra crispy was worth it
Take me Jesus!

Last Saturday, I went Christmas shopping. Here are a few choice images and thoughts from my adventure.

As I leave the house, I walk down to the end of the drive way to pick up our trash can, which was so lovingly thrown aside by the sanitation workers, and I find, at the end of our driveway, in the snow still fresh from the overnight snowfall, the local children in the neighborhood are getting into the Christmas spirit.

'Tis the season for Yuletide rocket ships

Hello Groupies (and Groupettes)! I’m back from the honeymoon and ready to dive into this year’s holiday season. These days can be truly spiritual to many, so I thought I’d take my time with you today to run through a list of all those little things that make the holidays so full of memories and joy:

So we finally have our store up and running. Why not spend all of your hard earned birthday or graduation money on a Skank Detectives tee? Maybe you could steal from grandma' and buy a snazzy new DYHP? T-shirt? Why you'd be the coolest kid on the block...