Today we talk about everyone’s favorite topic, technology, that thing of evolution that allows us to live better (Technically speaking).  Faster and better ways to communicate, to store & organize information, to keep track of that grade school friend’s birthday (because without the “Happy Birthday” post on Facebook we wouldn’t know who are our real friends).

Don't you people pay attention?! We've seen the proof from Hollywood. Every year we inch ever closer to the inevitable. But do the world's smartest minds want to save us. No! They try to usher in the apocalypse even more quickly! Nerds across the world keep screwing around with robots, just itching to help SkyNet wake up and take over this rock we call Earth. Here are 3 reasons you better live near a pool of molten lava to dip the Governator in to, because these jerks are damning us all to robot hell!

Robots are able to read your mind

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OK, so this Android app really just reads your brain waves, with the help of a super cool helmet you have to wear. But, you know this app will be standard on all Robot politicians as they try to take over our governments. They'll read our minds and tell us the lies we want to hear. "No, we aren't going to enslave you" and "Humans would make a horrible battery source. The Matrix was a total liar. We swearsies. Cross our cold, lifeless robot heart and hope to die. Except we can't. Cuz we're immortal. We're robots." via Gizmodo

They're immune to nuclear war

That's no moon... and it's not a space station either. This Death Star looking contraption is a cannonball sized  monitoring and diagnostic tool. It's planned to be used to find cracks and breaks in nuclear reactor piping. As such, it can withstand extreme heat and radioactivity. So, this means all future robots will be able to survive our only means of victory, nuking the crap out of them. Nice work, MIT nerds. There goes plan A. via Science Daily

They're the effin' Messiah!

Well, we really don't have a choice but to follow them now. They can walk on water for Robot's sake. The second coming is here, and it's not good people. Jesus is a robot. I bet he can turn any liquid into wine and laser away all the leperyness of a leper, in 45 nano seconds. I guess I'll just go change my Facebook religion status to Robot Church, and get the ball rolling. The faster we convert, the faster we get to Robot heaven. via Science Daily

We're quickly coming to an era where every thing we humans used to do will be done for us  by computers or machines. Like Rosie in the Jetsons. I for one welcome these technological advances but it may frighten some to know that slowly, over time, the things that make us specifically human will be eroded and fade away. We will essentially become less hairy bears with clothes (well some of us will still wear clothes).

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss New Years Eve. It's the annual tradition of getting drunk, watching balls drop, incoherently counting down from ten, and making out with someone you'll regret once you see them in a photo you were both tagged in on Facebook. Sure, you'll play it off and blame your regrettable hook up on the alcohol. But deep down you know it was a make out session brought on by a strange fetish for noise makers, and the sensual voice of Ryan Seacrest shouting numbers at you.

But an inebriated photo of you kissing a Sasquatch isn't the only reason New Years Eve suck...

Hello fellow Groupies of DYHP (and boy do I)!  I thought I’d take a moment during this exciting holiday shopping season to plug myself (that’s what she said).  For a number of years now a few of my friends and I have been producing the indy (A.K.A. no budget) comic series, “SPORKMAN!”  I am excited to say we finally finished Sporkman’s newest adventure, “SPORKMAN GOES TO JAPAN.”  It’s been a ride I must say. 

Countless hours of work, hundreds of e-mails, beating the wanting groupies back with sticks (though we did let a few back stage), and that’s just making the book, let alone what’s in the damn thing.  It’s more of a documentary about our short friends in the Pacific Rim; the trials and tribulations of radio active lobsters, giant robots and gay ass Pokémon’s.  Throw in a superhero with no superpowers (no, not Batman…though he is a fav) and Walla!  The complete history of these great people in three amazing volumes.  But speaking of Batman…Christopher Nolan is working on his third!  Any guess as to who the villain will be?  The rumor is Clay Face (said with a big grin and crazy spirit fingers)! 

So, anywho, I’ve patted myself on the back long enough.  Check us out at www.GETSPORK.com, while you’re there buy an issue or 5,000.  Happy holidays and may the Spork be with you!