Greetings my gaggle of groupies! I have to say it is atrocious how we treat our celeb’s in this country. A walking douche can’t even make $100 mil for doing nothing without being driven mad. We give no formal training to these trophies of the American Dream. They are forced to buy mansions we vagabonds can only dream of. They are forced to join the Immaculate Car of the Month club and must suffer through the plethora of tiara wearing goddesses lapping at the ground they walk on (or hunky musky smelling beasts if our mad douche is a douchette (or a stuffy DJ with fish scented fingers if our douchette is Lindsey.))

Winning...??

A new year... a new name! (not so) Real Letters has sold out and got a face lift. It shall now be known as Ask Justy, seeing as I answer all your weird ass questions, anyway. Another acceptable name would be The Feature Formerly Known as (not so) Real Letters. (it's spelled with just a 6 and a zig zag!)

This week I give hobby help, religious advice, start a soccer team, help a reader bake some delicious cookies, and more, so let's get started!

Tone has been unfaithful once more. This time he's cheating behind our backs with some harlot named 411LowDown.com!

One of these days, Tone. We're gonna see past your chubby charm and make those changes our mom and girlfriends have been saying for all these years!!!.... but we just can't help it. You're so cuddly! You're gettin' off with a warning this time! Now, sit your pretty little head down, dinner will be on the table soon, snookums.

Check out Tone's take on People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive,
the new winner and from days of yore!

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss diets, and how even after all the nights at the gym and self control on the weekend, you're still 15 lbs away from your goal. What's that? Cupcakes are buy one get one free at the super market this week? Don't just stand there, grab as many as you can carry! They're smaller versions of regular cake, so it doesn't count.

This is just on example of why diets suck....

Over the past couple weeks we've lost Dennis Hopper and Gary Coleman. Last year Michael Jackson was the biggest name that met his maker. Corey Haim and Brittany Murphy (and now her husband) flamed out suddenly. The problem with Hollywood stars dying is that sometimes it's all too sudden (Like Michael Jackson) and in other cases it's expected (Like Patrick Swayze).

But what if we handicapped celebrity deaths the way prognosticators handicap sports? Overall odds, over/under, stuff like that..  Well your friends at DYHP have given you the inside edge on who the next celebrity to kick the bucket will be... and it may surprise you!

As you all know by now, Gary Coleman died the other day of a brain hemorrhage. And finally today the family has chosen his casket. They said it was important to Gary to have his namesake emblazoned on it so that in death, his family legacy will live on forever.

Click read more to see it…

I have a bad habit of changing the channel constantly whenever a commercial is on. You can call it a short attention span, lack of good commercials, or me just being a guy. Sometime I even change a show when I know it's about to end just so I don't have to watch a commercial, that's how much I hate them, but in my quest to avoid commercials I happened upon something even more insidious...Fake celebrities with their own reality shows and the disease is spreading....