Today we talk about everyone’s favorite topic, technology, that thing of evolution that allows us to live better (Technically speaking).  Faster and better ways to communicate, to store & organize information, to keep track of that grade school friend’s birthday (because without the “Happy Birthday” post on Facebook we wouldn’t know who are our real friends).

Don't you people pay attention?! We've seen the proof from Hollywood. Every year we inch ever closer to the inevitable. But do the world's smartest minds want to save us. No! They try to usher in the apocalypse even more quickly! Nerds across the world keep screwing around with robots, just itching to help SkyNet wake up and take over this rock we call Earth. Here are 3 reasons you better live near a pool of molten lava to dip the Governator in to, because these jerks are damning us all to robot hell!

Robots are able to read your mind

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OK, so this Android app really just reads your brain waves, with the help of a super cool helmet you have to wear. But, you know this app will be standard on all Robot politicians as they try to take over our governments. They'll read our minds and tell us the lies we want to hear. "No, we aren't going to enslave you" and "Humans would make a horrible battery source. The Matrix was a total liar. We swearsies. Cross our cold, lifeless robot heart and hope to die. Except we can't. Cuz we're immortal. We're robots." via Gizmodo

They're immune to nuclear war

That's no moon... and it's not a space station either. This Death Star looking contraption is a cannonball sized  monitoring and diagnostic tool. It's planned to be used to find cracks and breaks in nuclear reactor piping. As such, it can withstand extreme heat and radioactivity. So, this means all future robots will be able to survive our only means of victory, nuking the crap out of them. Nice work, MIT nerds. There goes plan A. via Science Daily

They're the effin' Messiah!

Well, we really don't have a choice but to follow them now. They can walk on water for Robot's sake. The second coming is here, and it's not good people. Jesus is a robot. I bet he can turn any liquid into wine and laser away all the leperyness of a leper, in 45 nano seconds. I guess I'll just go change my Facebook religion status to Robot Church, and get the ball rolling. The faster we convert, the faster we get to Robot heaven. via Science Daily

Now I know that everything was fine on May 21st but what about next the next possible Armageddon? We may not be so lucky.  What if an asteroid is on a collision course with the Earth tomorrow and Bruce Willis can't save us, no matter how hard Aerosmith sings?  If the majority of humanity is wiped off the face of the Earth tomorrow, I want to do my part to guide them through the post-apocalyptic land, and maybe shed some light on what went wrong. That's why I'm writing a letter to the future.

Recently it's come to my attention that we're on the brink of an apocalypse. According to Ray Judgement Day (Terminator or Biblical) could be as soon as Saturday. This leaves us all with such little time to do some last minute activities. So to help save time I've created a list of ten things you need to do before the World ends. 

Every week I'm going to talk about something I hate, something that's overrated, or something that just flat out sucks. This week we discuss New Years Eve. It's the annual tradition of getting drunk, watching balls drop, incoherently counting down from ten, and making out with someone you'll regret once you see them in a photo you were both tagged in on Facebook. Sure, you'll play it off and blame your regrettable hook up on the alcohol. But deep down you know it was a make out session brought on by a strange fetish for noise makers, and the sensual voice of Ryan Seacrest shouting numbers at you.

But an inebriated photo of you kissing a Sasquatch isn't the only reason New Years Eve suck...

Time for more odd things to be placed in front of your optical nerves!! First, though, I have something to say... I'm not gonna lie to you Marge. I'm kind of dialing this one in today. It's been a whirlwind week with the Christmas holidays, and now we're being hit with a crap ton of snow here on the East Coast. So, I thought, what better way to celebrate a snow day, then with 10 of the most bizarre snow sculptures I've ever seen! Sadly, I'll have no snow day, as I can, and will, work from home... though, I get to do it with no pants on, which is a definate win.

Anyway, to business!

We're not getting out anytime soon, so prepare for some blogs written
while dellrious from cabin fever and lack of oxygen... there's only so much oxygen
in a house, you know, and we don't have plants.... OH GOD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

As I take the reigns here on the Bizarre, I'd like to preface it by saying... you better like it! I worked for a whole 3 hours after I had already painted a fence, petted a dog, eated baked ziti, and dieded in video games.
So, you better appreciate it! ... Kisses, Ray.

     David Icke. English writer, public speaker, soccer player... healer of the enslaved peoples? Mr. Icke certainly thinks so. David Icke believes that he is one of the lone public figures able to heal the masses, and willing to out our Big Brother overlords for who they really are. The Illumaniti, The New World Order, The Stone Masons, Fight Club, Oprah's Book Club. Call them whatever you like, but they are the wheel turners here in our world, according to the visions and voices David Icke experiences. They are powerful puppet masters, creating our world... and they are Reptilian Humanoids.

I'm writing this article, because I had a dream today.

No, not a life changing, world altering dream like Dir. King.

I had a dream today, about zombies. Specifically, the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

Initially, though, it started out as a somewhat normal dream...

Don't let it's docile exterior fool you. This phone is out for blood.

This phone will slowly kill the crap outta you... by microwaving your brain with texts, phone calls, ridiculous charges.... and electromagnetic radiation.

Topping CNET's list of most radioactive phones with a 1.6 SAR rating ( Specific absorption rate, basically the amount of energy your body takes in, there are alot of maths involved), the Motorola V195 is the harbringer of death in the mobile phone world, and I'm willing to bet the first step in the Death line of technology. Up next, Death Toaster's, Death Radios, Death Shoes, Skynet, and then the infamous Death Ray.

So, remember, you heard it here first, lock up the women and children, start folding your little tin foil hats... the revolution will not be televised, because the Death TV's will have the control! Dust off your abacus, the end is nigh!

See the other 19 phones here.